"Harper’s Magazine gathered creatives from four ad agencies and assigned them a daunting task: to develop a television spot for the federal government. And not just any television spot. We wanted one both memorable enough and entertaining enough to compete in the most expensive televised-marketing event of the year—the Super Bowl."

-Harper's Magazine
February 2011

So, anyway, Wieden was one of those agencies and I was one of those creatives. My partner, Beth Fujiura, and I worked under WK ECD, Mark Fitzloff to point and laugh at our government. Please remember that it was 2011 and the ceaseless bludgeoning from reality was still years away.

“APPROVE THIS”

Only in America can a kindergarten cop be governor of our most populous state.
Only in America can a presidential contender have her own reality-TV show.
And only in America can our federal government (hypothetically) host a
Super Bowl halftime show to boost approval ratings.

Presenting…

ONLY IN AMERICA! THE U.S. GOVERNMENT PRESENTS THE SUPER BOWL
XLV HALFTIME SHOW!!!
We open on an aerial view of a stadium at night, with a stage at center field.

Cut to a somber Stephen Colbert on a dark center stage.

SC: America, we have a crisis on our hands. The federal government approval ratings are at an all-time low. Something must be done. Something like....an outrageous Super Bowl halftime show!!!!

MUSIC: “The Stars and Stripes Forever.” (performed by a reunited Roth-fronted
Van Halen)

The stage lights up to reveal a giant neon Approval Rating-o-Meter with the following levels: Watergate, AIG Bailout, Man on the Moon, Mission Accomplished! Around the stage are “The People”—a “Greek chorus” that perfectly, if stereotypically, represents the American populace.

SC: America, are you ready for some government?

The People: You bet!

SC: The legislative branch!

Congressional members, dressed in gold suits and powdered wigs, march onstage. They salute as Nancy Pelosi climbs into a cannon and blasts through a ring of fire, like Evel Kneivel. The approval meter climbs slightly.

The People: We like it!

SC: The executive branch!

The president, vice president, and cabinet run out and bust through an American flag, waving and doing gymnastics flips. Bald eagles, dressed in little suits, fly in and land on each person’s shoulder. The approval meter leaps up to “AIG Bailout.”

The People: We love it!

SC: The judicial branch!

The Supreme Court justices dance onstage in a Rockettes kick line. A surprisingly nimble Ruth Bader Ginsburg breaks the line to do a high toe-touch jump, landing in a split. The approval meter leaps to “Man on the Moon.”

The People: We approve it!

SC: No partisanship here, folks, just one big party!

The People: Let’s party!

SC: And now everyone’s favorite American. You know her from the last election when she was crying on that random guy’s shoulder: OPRAH!

Oprah emerges from the stage floor wearing a Statue of Liberty costume with a “We’re #1” foam finger instead of a torch.

OPRAH: You get a car! You get a car! Everyone gets a brand-new car!

The People: We approve this message!

The approval meter explodes.

Super: ONLY IN AMERICA

VO: This Super Bowl halftime message paid for by the Committee to Improve the Federal Government’s Approval Ratings by Any Means Other than Actually Improving the Federal Government.